Chronicles of a Catboy
by Kemious
Summary: Bet you can't believe its still alive. After over a year here comes chapter three.
1. Be careful of what you say around Nemu

Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. Tite Kubo owns it and should entertain me by creating a storyline based around Yamada Hanatarou.

A/N: I'm not dead and Clipboard isn't abandoned. This plot bunny has been bothering me for months now. I felt like it needed to be done. The flow might be a bit awkward considering I wrote it in bits and pieces so my thoughts weren't as organized as my other fic's. Still I hope you enjoy it.

"Soifon-taicho needs a boyfriend." Rangiku grumbled as she slid next to the other members of the Shinigami Women's association.

"That's unlikely."Ise Nanao spoke "She has an unhealthy obsession with cats."

"She may have a obsession with kitties in more than one way." Matsumoto muttered. Isane coughed in discomfort at the obvious innuendo about the second division's captain's pending sexuality. "You know its possible." She protested in defense of Nanao's vicious glare.

"Hm... If there was only combine Bumblebee-chan's love of kitties with a boy then you would have your answers " Yachiru chipped in happily. Isane smiled at Yachiru innocence. Had she known the effect that Yachiru's words would have on the seirtei she wouldn't have smiled rather she would have dragged the tiny lieutenant out of the room before she had a chance to even utter them. Laughing the four lieutenants departed from their secret room in the Kukchi complex. However had even one of them noticed the contemplative stare of Nemu the event could have been avoided.

* * *

The actual body modification would be easy. She was after all Mayuri's daughter and in her own right a scientific genius. The actual problem was finding a test subject. It was a shame that Mayuri-sama had prohibited her from doing any sort of experiments on members from the 12th. The concept was easy enough, but finding the ideal subject was a bit harder. Even she had to admit, that very few could actually succeed with the look. Searching through Mayuri-sama's database searched through male shinigami files looking for th ideal person. As she scanned through the fourth she stopped.

"Subject acquired."

* * *

"That brat Hanatarou has been missing for the pass couple of days. Leaving me to cover for the little twerp yet again. I don't understand why Fuku-Taicho and Taichou favor the brat so much. I'm so much more useful then he is. I don't see the point in worrying about him. He's probably just playing hooky. I wish I could play hooky." Imerua dictated as he wrote in his diary.

Isane frowned. It was unlike Hanatarou to disappear and miss his duties. In fact the only time that something like that had happened had been the whole incident with the Ryoka. A chill ran through her. What if something bad happened to the seventh seat. Perhaps it was time to see if one of his two friends had seen him.

* * *

Hanatarou awoke with a long lazy stretch as he yawned loudly. Blinking several times he attempted to get his bearings. While it wasn't unusual for him to fall asleep sometimes while cleaning, he did generally wake up where he slept or found himself in one of his division's hospital beds. This was neither his last memories laid somewhere in the sixth division barracks talking to Rikichi, about.... Well he couldn't remember his memory got a bit hazy afterwards.

"So you have finally awakened." Came the calm almost disinterested voice of Nemu. Instantly he knew where he was the 12th division's research and development labs. However this fact didn't comfort the previously clueless medic. No in fact the knowledge only served to instill fear into the small male.

Standing up Hanatarou , leapt off the table and made a beeline towards the door and made it all the way back to the fourth division in record time. Well thats what he intended anyway. His perfect escape plan was hindered by the straps securing him to the table that completely prevented him from moving more than a couple of centimeters. His feeble struggles continued for several more seconds before completely dying down.

"Are you done." She asked after he gave up.

"So this is how it ends, huh?" He sighed depressed. "I'm gonna be one of Captain Kurotsuchi fabled experiments.". Resigning himself to being another guinea pig of Captain was so much he still wanted to do . Finish those Harry Potter books, draw manga, get laid. He was aiming a bit high with the last one, though getting kissed by a girl would have sufficed.

"Your analyses is incorrect Yamada-san, Mayuri-sama has no intents on studying or experimenting on you. In fact Mayuri-sama doesn't even know your here."

Eh he wasn't going to be experiment on. He was gonna live. Words could hardly express the joy the timid seventh seat felt as he got his new lease on life. "So I'm not gonna be experimented on. So why am I tied up?" he questioned.

Nemu blinked. "When did I say you weren't going to be experimented on."

Hanatarou blinked twice confused. "Um... But you said Kurotsuchi-taicho wasn't going to experiment on me..."

Nemu stared, and blinked at Hanatarou. "That is correct Yamada-san. Mayuri-sama has no interest in you. I however do." The chill that resided in his spine before came back at double the force. "Rest well Yamada-san." He could have sworn that in the last couple of moments before it all faded he saw an evil smile gracing her face.

Hours later Hanatarou awoke to complete and total darkness. He was relived to find that he was still alive and no longer bound to a table in the 12th division's lab. This was relief was short live when he tried to move and bumped his head against the ceiling. While no longer bound his movement was limited by the small space he was confined in. Well at least he was still alive, he managed to take a little a pleasure in that solidarity fact.

Soifon glared bitterly at Nemu. The latter stared blankly unaffected by the hateful intent of the former.

"Now Taicho. Nemu only doesn't know any better." Momo attempted to calm the irate captain.

"I don't know how she got the idea that your a closet lesbian." Rangiku whistle innocently.

"You." Soifon flew across the room strangling the hapless vice-captain.

"Now now. Soifon, please restrain from killing Rangiku, I doubt her captain would appreciate it." Unohana smiled pleasant. Instantly the strangling stopped. Rangiku let out a tiny laugh of victory "Rangiku your captain keeps complaining about you sleeping on the job, perhaps you should visit us sometime." Rangiku nodded silently as she received the veiled threat clearly. "Now ." Unohana stood up. "I must be going. My seventh seat has apparently been missing for a while now. I have to go see Kenpachi-taicho about this matter." While her smile never wavered an incredibly large amount of killing intent filled the room. No one moved a muscle as the fourth's captain departed followed by timid vice captain.

As soon as she departed. Soifon's hands were immediately at Rangiku's throat choking the life out of her once more. Sighing the remaining members of the watched the show with mild amusement.

"Oh whats in the box." Yachiru exclaimed cheerfully as she already started tearing it apart.

"That is Soifon-taicho's gift." Nemu announced and the shinigami women's association stared at the present with more than slight fear as if the box contained a bomb. Nemu gifts were no where near what you would call appropriate. Bombs, unmentionables, snakes and various other experimental subjects had taught the members of the SWA that any gift Nemu presented was better left unopened. Nanao attempted to stop the SWA president. But it was too late. She had already torn apart the box. Closing their eyes the SWA attempted to prevent their precious minds from being scared by another one of Nemu's gifts.

"Kitty!"

Huh!? A cat?! That was her gift to the irrate bumble bee captain. Opening her eyes in with the rest of the shinigami in the room Nanao found herself starring at something that wasn't quite a cat being cuddled by Yachiru. As if connected by a single mind. One simultaneous thought crossed every female's mind at the same time. _Mine._

* * *

Light filled his eyes as his confinement crumbled around him. Yachiru's high pitch scream of kitty filled his auditory senses. Was the vice-captain of the 11th always so loud. He found himself instantly being cuddled by the young girl. What the hell was that about. Glancing around the room he could not find the kitty that the young girl had proclaimed to exist. Not that it mattered very much. Swish his tail as the young girl petted his head. Hanatarou's sighed in contentment.

…

Tail? WTF? Since when did he have a tail? Running a hand through his hair he was surprised to find to his ears not quite where they were suppose to be. What the hell had Kurotsuchi-fukutaicho done to him.

Looking up in hopes of finding an answer, Hanatarou froze. His mind flashed warning as he finally noticed the hungry stares of the women in the room. Each and every single one focused on him. Only one thing came to his mind finally processed the situation.

Oh shit!

E/N: For those who really liked it don't worry its not the end. I have plans, but don't expect an immediate update. Though that shouldn't hinder you from reviewing. Reviews make me more motivated and help me get better. Better is always good, right? So send me some feed back on any and all fics. Both good and bad are accepted. So help a brother out. Till next time.


	2. What do women want with catboys anyway?

A/N: Phew thought I'd never finsh this one with work and life. Without much further ado chapter 2

"Nemu. I thought we've gone over this before. You are not allowed to kidnapping people against they're will." Nanao chided as she forcible prying Yachiru off of Hanatarou. After five seconds of trying she managed to separate the two. Adjusting her glasses and evil glint shined off them. "Now I know you had the best intent that's why I'm not going to report you. I'll confiscate him for your own good." She announced as she speedily made her way towards the door with Hanatarou in hand. She was finally going to get her Yaoi pet. She drooled at the thought of all pairings.

"Ah but I doubt he'd be very safe in the 9th division considering that Komamura-taicho's right next door." Hinamori announce as she intercepted Nanao's path and grabbing Hanatarou's hand and swiftly yanking him towards her. "He'd be so much safer with me... I mean the fifth divisions barrack.". Never mind the fact he had his own division to begin with. There was no way that she'd allow Nanao a monopoly on her catboy. No she'd train him to be the perfect man just like Aizen-sama was.

"Um fukutaichos I have a division of my own." Hanatarou pleaded as the two began a brief tug of war over him.

"Fifth."

"Ninth!"

"Um... Its the fourth divisions."

"Fifth!!"

"Ninth!!"

THWAK THWAK! The sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed around the room as both Hinamori and Nanao held their heads in pain. Letting the hapless seventh seat go.

"The two of you should be a shamed of yourselves." Soifon barked at the two "Fighting over such trivialities." Hoisting Hanatarou by the collar of his hakama. "There is no need to fight about what division he's going to be in. He already has one."

Ah so someone was listening to him. A tear of joy leaked from his eyes. Soifon-taicho was going set everything right.

"He is property of the second division."

"Yes I'm a member of the.... eh! Um Taicho..." He repeated " I'm from the fourth division. The seventh seat to be exact." He corrected. Once again he was ignored in favor of their own version of reality.

"After all." she continued. "Nemu presented this gift to me. It would be improper to allow anyone else the burden of taking care of this." Despite her harass words anyone with eyes could see the blush gracing her cheeks.

"I shall raise you as the son of Yoruichi-sama and I." She smiled hugging Hanatarou. "You love miss mom don't you Yoruichi jr. Don't worry Yoruichi-sama will come back soon and we can be a family."

As Soifon faded into her fantasy. Rangiku to the opportunity to snatch him from the disillusion captain .

"No need to worry about her cutie. Ranigku'll take care of ya." thus preceded to perform what Hitsugaya refereed to as the dread glomp of death.

He finally understood why Hitsugaya-taicho seemed to hate being glomped by his vice-captain.

Struggle as he may he could not escape her death grip. Despite what many thought about Hanatarou he was perfectly straight. He loved breast. Rangiku's breast were a particularly magnificent pair if he said so himself. However when said pair of well shaped and more than adequately sized twins decided that they wanted to rob him of his precious air supply he had to admit that his appreciation of them had gone down a little. Only a _little_ bit. Those marshmallows of her were suffocating him sending him to the land of death.

Admittedly a happy death, but death none the less.

Now unlike the other members of the Shinigami women association Yachiru did not view Hanatarou as Fujoshi dream, A train your own boyfriend, Child or Sex slave or any other perversion. Had she been a little older her mind set might have fallen into one of the less than pure demographies. She was a child and her thoughts on Hanatarou's current predicament were innocent and pure. Only viewing the mutated male as a giant Kitty-cat.

This however did not make her any less dangerous or possessive of him by any means.

With a battle cry of "My Kitty!" Yachiru flew through the air violently tackling Rangiku and releasing Hanatarou from his death grip.

Relieved and yet slightly disappointed as oxygen filled his formerly oxygen depraved lungs Hanatatarou found himself sky bound, turning and twisting in impossible angles through the air he managed to miraculously land on top of the bookshelf perfectly. He blinked confused at the acrobatic feat he had just accomplished. Before he could barely walk without falling now he was capable of preforming acrobatic feats?

"Cats always land on their feet so I enhanced his balance." Nemu stated simply answering the unasked question.

The flying tackle had evolved into an all out brawl between the two lieutenants and quickly absorbed the other three members forming what could only be described as a rolling ball of fists

Hanatarou watched the rolling ball of flesh from the safety of his perch on top the bookshelf, with a triad of emotions. Lots of fear, quite a bit of amazement, a tad bit of worry and concern and an inkling, almost impossibly small bit of pride at the fact that all these women were literally fighting to have at him. For the seventh time in his entire life he felt some pride in himself.

This inkling of pride was once again erased once he heard what Nanao intended to do with him if she caught him. He always known the women had dominatrix tendencies. Fear became the dominate emotion once more.

He wondered where he had gone wrong in his past life. Its not like he had been born in an elite clan that had been slaughter by his elder brother, leaving him as one of the two remaining members, developed a brother complex , leading him to betray his village in search of more power in the form a creepy snake, resulting in leaving a over sized whole in his best friend's chest. Disappearing for 3 years only to kill said creepy snake guy and accomplish the goal of killing his brother only to find that his brother hadn't been evil and joining an evil organization that plans on kidnapping said former best friend with the plans of ruling the world.

Had he?

Seeing the brawl as his chance to escape Hanatarou leapt gracefully off the bookshelf. Colliding clumsily with the floor. Starring at Nemu, who had side stepped the entire fight, in confusion he awaited and explanation.

"I understand that clumsiness is moe , so I added that in your modification. Or rather would have if you didn't already have that stat in abundance."

"EH Kitty-chan's escaping!"

"Get him!"

Eyes widened at the realization that brawl had ended already and that his life as well as chaste was once again in danger, Hanatarou escaped the room with speeds that easily surprised the flash step.

"Eh did you modify his speed too Nemu-chan."

"No...." She lied

Instantaneously the hearts and minds of the SWA unified. They reached the unspoken agreement that battle for their precious cat boy would have to wait till he was recovered. With a slight nod to one another the five members set off to find their precious possession.

"Hm.... So it appears no one wishes to use the Yamada tracker." Nemu muttered to no one as tossed the tracker into the garbage. Oh well there was no use standing her when she could be observing it all from the lab. With that Nemu left the room.

Hanatarou didn't stop when he could no longer sense the spiritual energy of the various women that had held him captive. He didn't stop based the ninth division barracks. He didn't stop when he when he heard the squeals of various girls, in fact that made him run that much faster.

No what had stop him had been a collision. Glancing up to see who he had hit and already in mid apology Hanatarou froze. Once again he found himself in a position that didn't bode well for him. For you see the being that had collide with had been none other Captain Sajin Komamura. The caine captain glanced at the other anthropomorphic male before baring his teeth at him and growling. It was at this point that Hanataro knew the answer to the question on weither Captain Komamura was a wolf or dog.

He was a dog....

Omake:

"Isane it seems that Hanatarou is not here." Unohana sighed softly

Isane could only nod in agreement.

"Well it seems we'll have to continue looking." Nodding Isane carefully step over the many unconscious bodies that littered the floor of the 11th division.

E/N: Holy moly I actually finished the second chapter. Yeah I know it took a while but at least I did it. Hopefully this one amused you It took me several rewrites to get it to an expectable level for me so I hope I was able to make you laugh more than just once.

I have to thank everyone that reviewed, favored or even alerted this story. Those numbers helped me buckle down actually write this. Sorry to disappoint if It wasn't to your taste this time and I'll always strive to make it better. The constant swithage of the words taicho, captain, fukutaicho and vice-captain were due to the fact they feet in each situation so I didn't see the need to keep using one over the other.

Now that the outline has been laid we can progress with the actual story. All your favorite characters as well as several not so favorite or known characters will make their appearance at one point. Hana's gonna find himself in every single division at one point as well as outside the seiretei. If there's any thing in particular you wanna see happen or situation you wanna see let me know so I can see if I can work it in.

Hopefully I can make each chapter funnier than the last. You're gonna be looking at more dialogue as I continue.

As always tell me what you thought your reviews feed the writer in me and that actually makes me write. So till later peace!


	3. Cat plus Dog equals What?

There comes a time in every man's life he becomes so overwhelmed by fear that he loses his sanity for a couple of moments and displays an ungodly amount of courage. Courage that would unlock the hidden abilities that laid dormant deep down within. Teaching him things about himself that he never knew and surpassing any know limits. Making him grow and change into a real man.

For Hanatarou that moment was... not now. That moment had gone and past three times over. Before him stood the infamous doggy captain of 7th division, a name that vice-captain Yachiru happily spread through the Gotei 13. A captain that could hold his own against Zaraki, admittedly not very long, but still…. A captain that was roughly 4 times as large as him. And he here he was one of the weakest shinigami in his division, a division itself infamous for weaklings, currently with the appearance of a cat.

Say what you may about him, but he was still smart enough to realize that this was not a situation to that he wanted to be in.

Time began to slow to a crawl as Hanatarou watched in slow motion as Komamura lunged forward towards him. His whole life flashed before him. Wait... was that right? Technically he was soul so he wasn't really alive. So was it his whole death flashed before his life. But you can't die if you already dead can you? Hm... This required some thought. Was it his un-death? But wouldn't that make him a zombie if was undead? He didn't go around eating brains so he couldn't be a zombie, or was he?

As his mind fumbled to make sense of the proper name of his existence, the time slowed Komamura moved another millimeter closer. His brain kicked in that this was neither the time for him to be contemplating the proper label for his existence. He would have argued that if this wasn't the time then one didn't exist, but already the slide show that was his life, began to play.

His first memories of being reincarnated in the Seiretei…

Being shoved into a door…

His first birthday…

The itching powder that someone put in his robes that day…

His acceptance into the academy…

Hazing by his seniors…

Becoming a member of the fourth division…

Being chased by the eleventh division…

Meeting Rukia…

Getting Kidnapped by Ichigo…

The memories continued to flash by in a similar pattern before finally coming back to this particular moment.

As the brief two second flashback came to an end, Hanatarou managed to come to what was perhaps the single most profound conclusion ever. His life sucked. Not only that, but apparently he was some huge cosmic joke to the world. Oddly enough he was comfortable with that, it at least explained why bad stuff always happened to him.

As he was swiftly lifted up, Hanatarou closed his eyes and prayed that he it'd be quick and moderately painful rather than slow and extremely painful, also he prayed that Komamura-taicho would get a bad cause of indigestion from eating him.

However death never quite came. Instead of being mauled to death by the giant 8th division captain Hanatarou was instead hoisted up and found himself caught in a what appeared to be a hug. As his puzzled brain tried to figure out why he wasn't quite torn to shreds and slowly traveling down the afore mentioned captain's esophagus, he instead found himself being twirled as Komamura laughed. After about half a minute the spinning stopped and He was gently put down. Still dizzy from the impromptu twirling Hanatarou struggled to maintain his balance as he waited for the dizziness to stop.

"HaHaHa… sorry small one." Komamura laughed, apologizing. "It's good to see another like me around." Hanatarou blinked, confused for a moment trying to figure out what Komamura moment another like him.

"Another?" he questioned.

"Yes another…" Komamura started and stopped trying to figure out what word to use. Hm this was problem. He had never quite thought to label what he was. After giving your species a name when you were the only one was kind of redundant and unnecessary. As he contemplated what to call them his mind flashed back to when he had last visited earth. There had been several individuals like himself walking around. He had been pleasantly surprised to find so many of his own kind. What was it they called themselves again? Furkie? No,Funkie? No that wasn't it, had something to do with his fur. Ah was it furry? Yeah that was it furry. "Yes another furry!" Now that he had finally found another on he could finally do that fur pile thing that they had talk about when he had been on earth. Once he figured what that was.

Hanatarou stared dumbly as Komamura towered over him grinning. "Furry… Sir?" Somehow he had a bad feeling about that particular word. Like it was far too dangerous to be thrown around quite like Komamura-taicho was. Not that he was going to say anything. He was not going to press luck with this, not when Komamura teeth looked so sharp.

"Yes. I heard it when I was in the human world last." Grabbing the hapless seventh seat and crushing him yet another bear hug. Hanatarou couldn't help but feel that this was vaguely similar to what had happened with Matsumoto-fukutaicho not very long ago, granted nowhere near as pleasant, but still every bit as life threating.

Iba's eyes twitched as he watched the display in horror. Granted no one could see this behind the heavy shades.

It was no secret that Iba had spent an insane amount of time trying to recruit Komamura into the SMA. The Shinigami Male Association needed a leader like him. Sure Iba himself was amongst the manliest of manly man. How could he not be, he was the leader of the SMA after all. A position that had required him to be a man amongst men. How else could he effectively lead such a group of testosterone filled males

Its members were the shining examples of what it was to be a true man. First there was Ukitake, a man who was not only gravely ill, but at times coughed up blood and still managed to attend all meetings. If wasn't manly than nothing was. Next was Vice-President: Iemura , one had to be a true man say what was ever on his mind at any given time without hesitation. Granted he was severely unpopular with the ladies and the like, but that was of little consequence to a man of his caliber. Hisagi had a manly tattoo on his face. Chairman Akon who was so badass he didn't even have eyebrows. Izuru Zanpakuto made people apologize. He contemplated what made Marechiyo and Harunobu manly before, promptly forgetting about the two minor characters. Deep down he could sense they were manly, because why else would they be members of the Shinigami Male association, his inner man told him so.

As a rule, only true men could join such an elite group as the SMA, unlike the SWA who took in members without prejudice. It was the reason why Captains like Byakuya Kuchiki and Kyōraku Shunsui, who were content with playing with flowers and wearing pink, were consistently denied entry into the SMA. Or rather the reality being the two men consistently flat out refusing to join the organization. Kuchiki deeming it beneath him to join and Kyōraku-taicho proclaiming that he'd rather spend that time getting laid or getting drunk.

He knew better though, they were just intimidated by the sheer awesomeness that was the SMA. Not that could blame them. It had to be difficult for one who wasn't used to being around awesomeness.

He knew his captain was even more of a man than he was, despite his canine appearance. In fact that added to his manliness. It was exactly this and his perchance for cute animals that prevented Iba from extending an invitation to his captain into the SMA. What would the other members say if they saw this display of unmanliness?

It was his duty as vice-captain to save his captain from himself. Searching his pockets for the one thing that his captain had entrusted him with should things ever go arye.

"GO FETCH!" He cried flinging the object, a red rubber ball as hard as he could. In an instant Hanatarou was tossed aside in favor of the retrieving the flying object.

Gasping for air Hanatarou tried to capture his breath. "Iba-fukutaicho… Thank… you…" He gasped heavily. Before he could continue Hanatarou was once again knocked unconscious for what would be at least the third time that day. Grabbing the unconscious catboy Iba checked the area quickly to make sure there were no nearby witnesses before opening a nearby manhole and diving down. He emerged a minute later, climbing out of a manhole that was no more twenty feet. Emerging from the hole, Iba swiftly ducked into the nearby bathroom that was the secret( not really) headquarters of the SMA.

Awaking with a groan Hanatarou cursed his luck once more. He was really getting tired of constantly blacking out. At least the first two times hadn't hurt. "Uh what happened? Where are we?"

Iba turned towards the now conscious boy. "I had move you to the secret location of the SMA headquarters. However I can't let nonmembers know of its location.

Blinking Hanatarou glanced around the room. "Um… Isn't this the bathroom just outside of seventh division."

"No… No it isn't…"

"Yes it is. See it says it right there." Hanatarou pointed to the sign saying 'Shinigami Men's Assocation, located in the bathroom directly outside the seventh division barracks'. Iba groaned, he really needed to talk to the others about being a bit more discrete. That however would have to wait till another day. Right now he had to deal with the obstacle in front him right now.

"Anyway Iba-fukutaicho I have to thank you for saving me from Komamura-taicho a few more seconds and I was sure I was going to die. Oh excuse me where are my manners. I'm the fourth division's Seventh seat Yamada Hanatarou" Hanatarou thanked bowing graciously to his savior, who was busy plotting the best way keep Hanatarou out of the sight of Komamura until he had successfully recruit his captain into the SMA. "Man its been one crazy day. First I was kidnapped, experimented on, than I was shoved into a box and surrounded by the a bunch of women from the women's association who all wanted to do horrible things to me. I managed to escape, but I think they're still looking for me." Hanatarou breathed out.

"Wait did you just say your being chased by the Women's association."

"Yes. Yes I am, I'd be grateful, if you could hide me from them." Hanatarou begged eyes pleading.

"I see." It all made sense now. Why Hanatarou had suddenly appeared when he had. It was all a nefarious trap set by the evil Women's association draw Komamura-taicho onto their side. How could he not have seen it before. "You're a brave man Hirosuke, for dealing with them."

"Um…. my names Hanatarou."

"Yes, yes I know Hirosuke"

"Um… its Hanataraou sir."

"This changes everything Hirosuke," Iba began ignoring the correction "I was just gonna knock you out and hide you in a closet for a couple of days till Taicho got tired of looking for you. But now I see that's not that right. I see I was wrong. It's far too dangerous to leave you somewhere they could simply find you. No action must be taken to insure you don't fall into their notorious hands." Hanatarou let out a sigh of relief, he had managed to dodge a serious bullet somehow. Maybe God didn't hate him. "It pains me to have to kill you Hirosuke" Or maybe not. ", but it's the only way to insure they aren't able to get their hands on you."

Hanatarou didn't even bother to correct him this time. Rather he was a little more concerned about the killing part. "Wait. So you're going to kill me, to save me?"

"Don't you see this effects far more than just you or I. It's the very future of the Men's association at stake. I can't allow us to fall at the ploy of the SWA. I'm sure you're willing to sacrifice yourself for the SMA."

"No!" Hanatarou answered quickly. "No I'm not!"

"That's the spirit. Your sacrifice will be remembered by future generations of the SMA to come!"

"But I'm not even part of the SMA."

"True men don't let such a thing hold them back, after your death Hirosuke shall be an honorarily, inducted into the SMA hall of fame." He had long ago given up trying to correct the delusional vice-captain, instead opting to bolt out of the bathroom and run towards freedom.

"Hey come back it's for the good of all men that you die today." Iba cried in hot pursuit.

Wasting no time he bolted towards the very first person that he could see. Perhaps they could save him from Iba's insanity. Unfortunately for him hadn't paid attention to who he was running towards and ended up in front of Nanao Ise. The woman who conveniently named him her Yaoi pet. Suddenly being killed by Iba wasn't such a bad thing anymore

E/N: I have so many excuses it's not even funny. I would tell you all but I'm sure you don't want to hear them. So I'll just apologize. Maybe later as tell you what exactly happened. I'll probably change the authors note and tell you exactly what went on. Hopefully you enjoyed this it's been sitting on various computers for almost a year. I can promise I'll be updating much more frequently than this. Till next time.


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